Therapist Florentine d'Aulnois-Wang is challenging traditional gender expectations and the myth of effortless romance to help individuals build healthier relationships.
These insights matter because rigid gender roles often prevent men from accessing their emotions, which can lead to communication breakdowns and the persistence of toxic relationship patterns.
Based in Orgeval, Yvelines, France [3], d'Aulnois-Wang, who is 50 years old [1], argues that the concept of a pre-destined "great love" is a fallacy. In a Feb. 14, 2023, interview with Le Parisien [2], she said, "Le grand amour n'existe pas, il se construit" — meaning great love does not exist, it is built.
She also addresses the psychological impact of societal pressures on men. In a podcast for France Inter, she said that gender injunctions push men to build themselves through strength, performance, and control, often at the expense of their own sensitivity [4]. This internal pressure can create a barrier to emotional intimacy and vulnerability in partnerships.
Beyond the construction of love, d'Aulnois-Wang provides guidance for those trapped in harmful dynamics. She said that exiting a toxic relationship begins with a lucid and benevolent awareness [5]. This awareness allows individuals to recognize patterns of abuse, or instability, without falling into self-blame.
By combining the deconstruction of gender roles with practical advice on relationship boundaries, d'Aulnois-Wang suggests that emotional health is a proactive process. She said that building a sustainable partnership requires a conscious effort to move beyond the scripts provided by society.
“"Le grand amour n'existe pas, il se construit"”
The therapist's approach shifts the narrative of romance from fate to labor and the narrative of masculinity from dominance to emotional intelligence. By framing love as a construction rather than a discovery, she places the agency back on the individuals to define their boundaries and emotional needs, potentially reducing the prevalence of toxic relationship cycles rooted in gendered expectations.
